Heart to Heart (Where Have I Been?)

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Hello beautiful human beings 🙂 Yes, I am still alive. No, I didn’t fall off the face of the earth (although I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me for quitting Blogmas in the middle of the month :/ ). I’m back, for realsies. I know I keep taking unexpected breaks. But the truth is I was trying to figure out if writing, or even blogging, is for me anymore. This past year I’ve felt like everything has turned into an obligation. So, during this past month, what have I done with my time off?


 

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My Birthday!!!

January 2 🙂 I may have had a slight midlife crisis, and claim to be 17 for the first week. However, I’ve concluded that I’m going to embrace my last year as a teen. I can start aging backwards next year 😉

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J Term

Yes, be jealous all you school goers and working citizens. While you’ve been productive in the real world, I’ve spent the better half of January bumming around my room, eating food, and “Netflix and Chill”-ing by myself. But seriously, don’t get too jealous because I really do miss classes. It’s weird, I know. But I prefer being on a schedule (speaking of which, my sleeping is basically that of a vampire at this point).

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Exercise

When I got back to the dorms after visiting my family for Christmas vacation, I vowed to not let my holiday eating habits continue, and decided to workout for an hour everyday. That’s actually been going really well 🙂 The gym is basically my new best friend (on days that I deem are too cold to walk the 15 feet to the gym, I use my yoga mat in my room for some intense yoga sculpt). There’s something about exercise that just makes me happy– all those endorphins, man– which is why I like to go there when I’m sad, bringing me to my next point.

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Meltdowns

Lots and lots of meltdowns. My friends are probably tired of hearing me cry about all of my problems, but they’re amazing for taking the time to calm me down each time. You ready for this? The conversation is about to get personal. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression for the majority of my life, only being diagnosed during the summer of 2014. I stopped taking my pills this past fall, thinking I could handle myself. To be fair, I could, for a while. But as time went on, all of my emotions continued to build up (like they did before I was on medication) until I would eventually have a meltdown. This continued through December and January until, two weeks ago, I had reached my lowest point. I ended up having a full on panic attack in the middle of the night, going on a suicidal rant. Eventually my friends calmed me down and I realized I needed to make a change. I was so scared of myself, but I let myself believe it was the pills I was scared of. Now that all of this drama is over, I feel like me again; and that’s something I never want to give up again.

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Change in Major

I’m still the same fashion-lover I’ve always been. However, I found that Fashion Merchandising isn’t for me (as much as I would love to major in fashion, my school requires a business minor, which is not what I want). As a kid I used to love science, math; just logical subjects. Therefore, I’ve decided to switch my major to a science (undecided for now) and minor in STEM (which isn’t offered as a major :/ ). I chose STEM because it’s helpful for literally EVERYONE. In a recent article from Seventeen Magazine, there were reasons why going into this field would be helpful. The part that caught my eye is, because this field is so underrated, there will be millions (yes, MILLIONS) of jobs just by 2020. A great job, in high demand, which makes bank? Count me in 🙂

p.s. The article also included people in the fashion industry and how they use it in their work. So, it’s nice to know my “fashionista” side can still be happy.


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This past month has been crazy, and the next few will be even crazier (school and work!!!!). But, I will do my very best to try to keep up with my posts. If you want to stay connected with me, check out my links below!!

Facebook: @Madellinas

Instagram: @Madellina_mc

Twitter: @Madellinas

Tumblr: @Shrawnty

Snapchat: @madellina_mc

Email: madellinerichards15@gmail.com

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2 thoughts on “Heart to Heart (Where Have I Been?)

  1. Granny is very proud of you too. You demonstrate a wisdom well beyond your years. Wish I had had your insight at when I was 19. The goal (I think) is to learn from our experiences. You seem to grasp that.

    Liked by 1 person

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